Nothing overly exciting to report on today except the fact we did have our Home Study visit last Tuesday! I feel it went really well. Our social worker, Debra, is always really sweet and loves to chat with us. This was her first time meeting Pasha since he came home almost one year ago. I'm pretty sure she adored him like we all do! ;)
At the top of my wish list is to have our report final and in hand by March 1st. That's my hope and what I pray for. Once that is in hand I will be sending in our USCIS application and I think that will take at minimum 30-60 days to be approved. So many aspects of adoption are a "Hurry up and Wait" scenario. Hurry and do this paperwork....wait for someone to approve it. Now hurry up and do this part......wait for someone to approve it. Then somewhere in the middle of all that waiting I'm working my butt off to raise all the necessary funds for everything: pay the notary, pay the state to notarize the notary's notary (that's confusing all in itself), pay for shipping paperwork, pay for fingerprints, get fingerprints done 2-3 times for different things. It is a lot to keep track of. Thank you Lord for providing a team as fantastic as mine, HHA, look them up if you ever decide to go for international adoption through Ukraine.
There are so many feelings involved with international adoption and domestic, I would think as well. It is very much like pregnancy for a woman. With Pasha's process and even so early with "Chance", I have felt eager, restless, angry, annoyed and so on. I do feel more relaxed and at peace this time. I know the routine- I'm practically a pro now! Sometimes pregnancies aren't planned and I'd say this adoption wasn't really either. I was praying for it, but Joe kept saying no. Then it was like, "Merry Christmas! Let's go get this baby", and I'm all "whaaaaaat? yay! wait, what?"
There are moments where you feel like no one is working fast enough, again with the Hurry up and wait. Moments you think there is absolutely no way you can continue with the stress of fundraising, piles upon piles of paper staring you in the face that you just dread and you just can't sign your name ONE MORE TIME. Then there are the feelings when you know there is just no one supporting you. No one in your corner. Rocky never would have made it if Mickey didn't have his back, right? Who is my Mickey? I need my Mickey. Don't give up though! You always have a Mickey. They may be silent, but they are there.
With Pasha there was not a great amount of "local support". Many of my local events planned were flops. One was a great success by total accident, but all in all, they were not great. Maybe it is because there are not a lot of adoption stories shared around here? I'm really not sure at all. So this second time around, I don't expect to receive much of anything and I guess I'll just have to be ok with that. There is plenty of the "Good, Bad and Ugly" when it comes to adoption. A lot of people are in love with the idea and a lot of people aren't. It's weird in a way. I have plenty of people who scroll right on past my social media posts. Not a peep. Maybe I'll get a "like" if it is a picture of my adorable children. Maybe if I write something funny. Most of the time everyone outside my adoption community is silent when I share the travesty of these poor little people who wait in a room by themselves. Most of the time I don't get a "like" or a comment about them. It makes me sad. Hell, it makes me angry at times, but what am I supposed to do? Unfriend all these people? Maybe. Not like their adorable pictures? Maybe. But then who would I be shouting to? The choir. That's who. I'd be shouting to my own choir...those who I know feel these same feels. Who would I reach? I am one woman. I can not "rescue" all these children. I wish so much that I could, but it is impossible for one woman or one man or even two of each. I can however, muddle along and just pray that I reach someone. It has to be true, that old saying about how you never know who is watching, who is listening, who is praying. So people can unfollow and they can unfriend and I'll be alright with that. I'll continue to shout into the void as long as necessary.